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Only God alone realizes the value of everything, especially the value of His Son – and so sent Him to purchase what no one else realized the value of even if someone was raised from the dead.

But very soon… every eye will see and every ear will hear and every mind will comprehend why every knee must bow as every mouth confesses that Jesus is Lord.


For when we nailed Jesus to the cross we thought we were proving a point, speaking our mind, having our say, doing what must be done… but God in His wisdom knew the precise point that He was proving, that He was making, when He permitted it to take place….and knew exactly what He was saying in His silence as He allowed The Life to succumb to death …for so long and no longer… thus far and no further.


For the Good News of God was bad news for us…for it exposed us in our sin…saw us naked in our rebellion….declared us guilty in our disobedience .…and laid bare our thoughts, giving witness to the poison that paralysed us even shut us down.

And so exposed as we were…. without reason, we hammered nails through the hands that reached out to carry us to safety …hammered nails through the feet that experienced the cruel hardness of the road that took Him to where He would be lifted up so that all men would be drawn to Him….the same road that held at its end a crown to adorn His head…and such a crown it was that only the King who works  for the glory and honour of the One who sent Him … even the King who sent Him….would silently submit to such a torturous and humiliating crowning ….initiated and carried out by those who hated Him without reason, by those who crucified Him without remorse .

A crown of thorns that would pierce and tear into His skull as it was pushed and beaten deep into His head in an attempt to effectively change His mind…to change His thinking from the mind of Christ to the mind of a sinner ….for already He had endured without a sound a flogging that would not only have killed any other man, but would have filled his heart with such unrivalled bitterness, that to cry out to God to forgive them would have been an impossible task.


And yet without delay, He resolutely set out to walk the road to Jerusalem where nothing  awaited Him but ignorance, hypocrisy, jealousy, hostility, rejection, betrayal, denial, desertion, blasphemy, torture, humiliation , degradation, shame, hatred,  injustice…disbelief and death.


For at the end of this road there was no mercy or compassion… there was no knowledge or understanding… there was no insight or help… no support or  trust….no forgiveness or repentance ….but yet His disciples were there  – those He designated apostles that they might be with Him were there…. for a while at least….until they saw He was not going to defend Himself, or demand His rights, or fight for His freedom  in any way, shape or form but instead was going to allow them to crucify an innocent Man…. and in the most cruel and inhuman way possible …and so the distance they went with Him, the distance they were only  able to go with Him, was measured by the love they had for Him….the love they were willing to give to Him and display because of Him.

For the depth of love is held in the response, and their response to all of what was happening….to all of what Jesus was doing and not doing….saying and not saying…. was an expression and  revealing  of the love they had for Him …..NOW,  after all they had experienced ….NOW, after all they had been given, after all they had been forgiven…. NOW, after all they had reaped the benefit from.

NOW…. exposed, was the truth of the type and measure of love that had formed in their hearts over the past three years that they had been with Jesus.

And the love that they had ….the only love they could offer Him at this time, and at this place, and in these circumstances, and under these conditions ….was friendship love …phileo love, which was far from  the agape love of God that Jesus was now displaying and making known to them.

The Agape of God made known by Jesus who had come in the flesh for this reason.

For agape cannot be proven if O/one cannot die… and if O/one cannot die, then T/they can never  lay down T /their life and make the ultimate  sacrifice for the O/one T/they love.

For how different they now were ….from He who brought them the Good News …how different they were from the One who called them and chose them, and led them.

For here they were, where they did not want to be….watching something they did not want to see …..and they did not, could not, and would not understood this change of events, nor understand this Man called Jesus….and so still could not believe… even when He arose from the dead.

For friends come and go, even brothers come and go,if phileo is all you can give, if phileo is all you can understand, if phileo is all that you have …and phileo it will always be,  unless you know what it is, and what it takes to change it into the far superior love of agape …the Agape Love that is God …..

But as surely as it was Jesus who made known the AGAPE of God as He lay down His life for His F/friends, so surely it would be that in the midst of the silence of the Sacrifice, the hearts and thoughts of His disciples would be laid bare as well.

For what awaited Jesus also at Jerusalem was what His own disciples thought of Him…what they thought about Him when He took the road He did…. and when He died the death He did –

What those who lived with Him, walked with Him, ate with Him, learned from Him…. what those who even confessed they loved Him and would die for Him….what they were thinking about Him when it came to the hour for which He was sent ….when it came to where it seemed all was lost….when it came to where He was now showing them that He was who He said He was…. that He was and is the ….GREAT I AM….                            


And what was revealed was what they were thinking of Him, and about Him when it came to this particular hour and place….the hour when even He, their Lord, did not know whether He would have the courage to endure what was set before Him ….the moment when what He was sent to do He would have to do, in the way He was commanded, in the silence He was shown, in the weakness it demanded, in the way it had been foretold …..and truly at that moment it was only God alone who knew the value of this Man called Jesus….only God alone who realised the value of such a Son….

His love for the Father laid bare….His disciples love for Him laid bare….hearts revealed……

His AND those who claimed they would lay down their life for Him, revealed NOW, when the cross was looming, when death had become His destiny.

Revealed now, after the teachings had been taught… after the power had been revealed…. after the Father had been made known … and after the Spirit had been promised…

Would that be enough to change the phileo love of the disciples to agape love for Jesus ! …

No, it would not ….because they lacked the one thing it took, the one thing that was needed to change  phileo into agape….. and that is GRATITUDE.  Deep unceasing gratitude of heart. 

Grateful to God for all that has been given ….for all that has been forgiven.

Grateful for all they had been saved from, for all they had been saved for….a grateful heart that reached out for the Lord to actively love Him as God so loved them …and as God so loved the world …


And so when His hour did come ….the love of His disciples for Him did not change from phileo to agape and so they could never understand what He was doing, nor why He was doing it….and so were filled with the poison that comes from ingratitude…the poison of DISAPPOINTMENT  their disappointment in Jesus.


For what did they really think of Him….NOW, as He was arrested ….NOW, as He was falsely accused… NOW, as He was beaten …NOW, as He stood silent…NOW, as He seemed powerless….NOW, as He was humiliated….NOW as He suffered the shame of the cross, dying the death of a sinner, being numbered amongst the transgressors.

What did they really think of Him NOW as He did nothing …said nothing …remaining silent even in His sufferings…remaining defenseless and weak… when they knew He was powerful in word and in action …

So why didn’t He come off the cross or transfigure before those who jeered and scorned Him like He had transfigured before them !!!

 Why didn’t He do something, anything !!

For surely NOW was the time when it was most needed.

What they were thinking of their Christ, of their Lord and Teacher ….is what would keep them from going to Galilee on resurrection morning – and what would keep them from believing even after they had been told He had risen from the dead…for Jesus had already said even if someone rises from the dead they still will not believe …..and His words were proven true even by His own disciples.


For they didn’t believe …couldn’t believe …and would not believe  until Jesus Himself washed away their disappointment in Him…by coming to them after the resurrection and explaining in detail every scripture which said that the Christ must die in this way…. 


But yet Jesus looked at them and loved them ….even as they looked at Jesus and were disappointed in Him.

For they understood not agape for they only had phileo  – and so saw not His courage but only His weakness – saw not the power of the cross but only His failure to resist it  – saw not the silence of the Lamb but the vanquishing of the promise  – and so they would not go to Galilee, could not bring themselves to go to Galilee ….for fear…. of another disappointment….for already the one they had suffered had immobilised them , bringing an inertia that mired them.

How dangerous it is ….not to have agape love for Jesus when you are following Him….when you proclaim to love Him enough to die for Him.

For when He does things you do not understand, phileo love is crushed,  and you will not see, hear, or conceive what God had in mind. For agape love alone is what can prepare your heart, your eyes, ears and mind for the success that is in agape….for agape NEVER ever fails…

And yet  the One whom the Father had sent ….Jesus the Father’s choice ….Jesus the Father’s Son…was to His  disciples a disappointment because He went to the cross….because He went willingly to be crucified and  so was not the triumphant Warrior Messiah they had expected.

For the Jews were expecting two Messiah’s……a Priestly Messiah and a Warrior Messiah…

And yes…they had seen in Jesus the gentle Priestly Messiah, but yet also had seen the Man who could overturn the tables of the moneychangers….the Man who showed no fear in the Temple… who showed no fear to the Romans … no fear to the Sanhedrin – so they already knew He was fearless and so then must be the Warrior Messiah promised…..the Kingly Messiah who was to come and not the Priestly Messiah that they were expecting as well. 

For they did not realise that the Lord would send the Two ….The One and the Same together…

And so they did not understand why the Warrior Messiah would not let them fight when He told them to take a sword and that two swords would be enough…..for they thought He was going to multiply the swords as He did the bread and the fish…..and so neither did they understand when He hid Himself when they wanted to make Him king by force…. and then when He stood there silent in the temple courts …they understood less and less.

For they did not understand the Man who had walked on water, nor the Man who had multiplied the food,  nor the Man who had calmed the storm.

They did not understand …..that He who showed no fear…. suddenly went silent like a Lamb to the slaughter.

And NEVER ever understood  WHY He did not come down off that cross….AFTER all He had said to them, shown them, taught them, even promised them ….for they had seen much more then what was recorded.

So much more that if every detail about what Jesus had done had been written down there would not be enough room in the whole world to contain the books they were written in, and yet it had come to this….so it seemed, so it appeared, so they thought.

 For to go willingly to the cross is not something they would have thought Jesus would have done.

For even  though they said they  would  die for Him, even with Him… when Jesus  died for them, they could not see it as it was, nor understand what it was.

But how can you understand what that means….how can you understand the gravity of such a superior love as agape when it is God Himself who IS AGAPE.

For without having agape yourself  you cannot understand such height and depth, such width and breadth, for to understand you must also agape the O/one who agapes you ….

 For to His disciples, to die for Jesus, even with Jesus, was to maybe die in battle for Him…die fighting with the sword for Him….but to die, like this….without a word, without  a fight…..that  was not their idea of laying down O/one’s life ….if at all they knew what that meant.

For at that time all they knew was that Jesus gave up  without a fight ….without using His power, His authority, even His word….and that they had given up everything to follow Him, this Man who now they realised they never understood.

And so for His disciples it would have  made more sense that if He was going to have to die, then it should be in battle, as they understand  battle, and so die valiantly…. for then maybe their eyes and ears and hearts and minds could have accepted such a heroic death of their Leader … a triumphant death  …and if He then arose from the dead it would be  even more heroic and triumphant….and so a picture they could better understand, better reconcile, with all they had already witnessed concerning this Man Jesus …this Man known as the Son of Man and the Son of  God.

For even John fully expected Jesus to come down off that cross, and was even more convinced that Jesus  would have transfigured Himself on that cross as He did on the Mount of Transfiguration.

But there was no transfiguration upon the cross that day as John had hoped for ….

He, who could raise the dead…. did not transfigure before John as He did on the Mt of Transfiguration but instead,  breathed His last before John , at the place of the SKULL.

And then He, who could calm the storm, permitted His flesh to entertain the spear that drew out the blood and the water from His side.

And John, even though he was the only one of the Lord’s disciples present at the crucifixion….he was not the one who buried Jesus. Not one of the chosen Eleven buried their Lord, but it was two men who secretly were disciples of Jesus ….Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus… they buried Jesus.

It was they who buried Jesus because John could not.

John, the only disciple who had the potential of agape love….could not bury Jesus for he just could not  believe that  Jesus allowed Himself to be killed…..not in this way, not by these men,  not without a fight…

 If John…. out of all of them ….. could not understand the washing of their feet by Jesus, then he also could never  understand his powerful Messiah giving Himself over to death in this way .

For Jesus washed their feet to show them the full extent of His love …the extent of how He was preparing to serve them, not glorify Himself – and to show them that His glory would come by serving them ….

For them to understand, that the act of washing their feet was the most humbling thing He would do while with them ….and so understand when He was on the cross THAT that was His true service to them. 

And knowing that… by FIRST…. understanding why He  washed their feet…and said…

‘’Do you understand what I have done for you ?. You call Me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord’ and rightly so, for that is what  IAM. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done.  I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things you will be BLESSED if you do them’’.


Jesus, the only One who never, ever disappointed the Father was now a disappointment to His disciples.


For the poison that comes from ingratitude is disappointment – and it paralyzes you and stops you doing what God has told you to do. For a heart without gratitude makes for one who can never have, or display or put into action the Agape love that is God …and  gives us the lack of understanding which will bring us to ultimate ruin.


So make no mistake about it….they did NOT FORGET the command of Jesus to go to Galilee.

But it was the lack of agape which prevented them from going ……the poison of disappointment which kept them in a state of inertia.

The lack of AGAPE love stopped them as surely as PHILEO love was not enough to motivate them.

And only a heart full of gratitude towards God can change PHILEO to the much superior AGAPE … for it is agape which comes from the outflow of gratitude.

John out of the men, was the one who had the potential for agape, for he was grateful that he had been called into the Lord’s presence …and his gratitude slowly grew. Just as in contrast it was Saul of Tarsus, who because of the way he was stopped and healed and given a second chance by Jesus …presented the Lord  with gratitude right from the beginning.


For you can enjoy your position and the office given you and enjoy your titles and entitlements….. but to be grateful, is not something that always  begins immediately, or if ever….so we should not assume people who are given much are grateful for what they have been given.

For how much you have been forgiven….. is the true measure of how much you have been really given.


But on resurrection morning they were not yet grateful for what they had been given and forgiven, but their gratitude did grow  slowly, and  a lifetime later, everyone of them would learn the lesson and died as their Master died that they may come back to reign with Him.

For when Jesus was with them they had already been spoiled by the story of Abraham and Isaac…and their thinking was such that they thought that God would surely do for their Rabbi, especially if indeed He is His Son, as He did for Abraham, who after all was only a friend.

They thought that at the 11th hour God would have surely provided a deliverance as He did for Isaac and Abraham….but it was that they just did not understand how serious God was when He gave His Son to save the world and all that is in it.

For the world says the ends does not justify the means… but for God to save this world that is filled with His glory….. the ends most certainly justifies the means…and until men can understand the seriousness of God’s purposes, their thoughts will never be the thoughts of God, their thoughts never reach the heights of the thoughts of God nor their ways .

For all that God did and is doing and will do, is with agape love and not out of selfish ambition or self glorification…. but ALWAYS out of AGAPE  {see how Paul defined love ….1 Corinthinans/13}

And we who have been born in this age and are the Elect of the Holy Spirit, thank Mary that she pleaded with them ….debated with them …and demanded of them ….more then what they were willing to give.

For even though it moved them not, nor succeeded in washing away their disappointment of  what  Jesus permitted to happen to Him, her agape love, the active love of God in action in her…. was a sight to see  as she planned to do unto them as she would have done unto herself, as she would have had done unto her Lord…. as she made plans to do good by doing what she could to motivate and to inspire those Jesus had chosen  to meet Him and His Father and the Holy Spirit on the Mount of Transfiguration.

Her plans were to prosper God by prospering them, to give Him a hope and a future by giving them a hope and a future by helping them to understand, and so revealed the superiority of agape ….pleading with them, in that they might understand and be grateful for what Jesus had done, and so have their love changed from phileo to agape … that they might get up and run to where Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit were eagerly awaiting them – that their love for Jesus may be changed in a twinkling of an eye just as hers was, and so without sitting back after she pleaded with them,  she debated with them all the issues and went over them again and again in an effort to have done unto her Lord that which He had already done unto them …that which He had already done unto her, and even then she did not stop but even demanded the more of them, demanded the more from them, demanded they see that their  disappointment of her Lord …their lack of understanding of Him…. was coming from the truth that in their hearts they held no gratitude for Him, gave no gratitude to Him, and that it takes a grateful heart  to change phileo into agape and to have the agape necessary to run without hindrance to the Lord their God who awaited them.

She was fighting to make sure the Body of Christ was purged of this poison and wanted to help them to be grateful so they may be able to do unto her Lord, unto their Lord, what He had done unto them ….and so help them be released from the inertia brought about by their disappointment of Jesus.

For Adam’s  disobedience …David’s  transgression and  even Israel’s sin of rebellion…was  nothing  compared to what God felt when they did not come to meet with Him on resurrection morning.


 For the Lord Jesus did not suffer for the creation of Adam nor for the deliverance of Israel…. neither did He suffer for the raising up of David as King…BUT suffered for the door to be opened into the realm of glory.


And for the door of Transfiguration to be opened… cost our Lord everything He had…

Yes, make no mistake about it….it was their LACK OF AGAPE love that resurrection  morning which resulted in disappointment  that stopped them going to Galilee as SURELY as it was their phileo love that resurrection morning which was not enough to motivate them….  to even desire to go….. to Galilee to meet with Jesus.


For if they had agape they would have made plans for Jesus…plans for the One they professed to loved even as He hung on that cross in weakness……for they would have understood what He was doing and so not ceased to make plans that were eternally good for Him ….even when He was dead and buried.

Plans to prosper Him and not to harm Him…plans to give Him a hope and a future, even if it was only that they had planned an early morning visit to the gravesite on the third day to make sure He had not risen.

For that is what the women went for with their spices and myrrh and aloe.

They went with plans to anoint His body ….they were not expecting Him to arise, BUT yet still went, with a  plan to further anoint Him ….to further tend and care for His body….the Body of Christ…

And so, if the men also had such love they would have planned something as well for the One they loved…..for that is what agape is… the active love of God… and that activity is the planning of good things for T/those Y/you love. Even if it is to plan to steal His body on the 3rd day as the high priest suggested that they might do.

If they had agape love for Jesus they would have gone as far as even concocting a lie to perpetuate His Ministry. They would have planned SOMETHING ! 

 Something GOOD  for the One they said they loved…..for they already knew that the Jews were expecting Jesus to arise on the 3rd day…..SO why not them…why did they not expect him to rise also !!.

Everyone believed Jesus would rise from the dead, everyone except His disciples.

That is why even Satan believes Jesus more then the church does, and why he is busy holding back the return of Jesus while the church does nothing to hasten His return.

But yet… to make plans to hasten His return would be agape in action……so wonder no more why the church at large is doing nothing to bring Him back in the flesh, why it is planning nothing good for the One they profess to love, the One they say they would even die for.

So how much did the Lord’s first disciples, and how much do we need agape love for Jesus to be able to usher in His return …to be able to purge the body of Christ of the poison within it …the poison which has driven the best of His pastors mad, blinding them – well meaning men selling themselves short for a piece of gold, a crumb of bread, because they cannot withstand the disappointments.

For if Jesus never brought disappointment to His Father , to His God ,how on earth could He disappoint us…we who are sinners saved only by the grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ.

He DOES NOT disappoint us…. but it is the poison that comes from our ingratitude which makes us think He has.

John, the beloved, was the only one of the disciples at the crucifixion because he had agape love enough to hope for the better for Jesus ….enough to stay there and believe that Jesus, who changed water to good wine before his eyes, translated them from the middle of the lake to Gennesaret in an instant, would transfigure before Caiaphas …. it never happened….but yet  he hoped that for Jesus, wanted that for Jesus… wanted something better for Him then to have to endure what He was enduring ..

Agape, is activity – and the activity is in the planning of good things for T/those Y/you love ….doing unto O/others as Y/you would have done unto Y/yourself …..doing unto God as you would have done unto yourself.

For Sacrificial love is active not passive…God who is Agape is active and not passive.

For AGAPE it is to go forth and to plan something for the O/one Y/you love….to plan something better for the O/one Y/you love … plan something better for Jesus.

For it is that even the  planning and doing can be sacrificial…..for it is a form of sacrifice when you plan to do something for someone, for  then you are putting in the effort and the sacrifice is the effort, the  sacrifice is the time. 

For there are varying degrees of Agape just as there is varying degrees of Phileo.

But even as agape begins with the planning, it is not the planning which is the greatest of the agape love. For it is then from the planning  to reach its pinnacle of sacrifice, the pinnacle that is achieved when you lay down Y/your life for S/someone…for greater love has no one that H/he lay down H/his life for H/his  F/friends…..but you cannot begin to have agape love, until you first begin to plan something for Y/your F/friend.

And then the culmination, fulfilment, fruition of the greatest of agape…. is to lay down Y/your life to see what Y/you have planned come to pass.

But the Eleven were brought up on a diet of success.

 For in the time they spent with Jesus everything was gloriously successful, every fear calmed, every need met every time ….and they themselves could do it, and when they could not Jesus was there to do it for them.

That is why there has been such a long road filled with disappointments with only flecks of success amongst the Eleven for they enjoyed success early and could not then withstand the disappointment.


But the Holy Spirit’s Elect have been brought up on a diet of disappointments ….so that disappointments will not poison them as it did the Eleven …permitting the Lord’s Elect to withstand disappointments so they can then withstand success.

And it is those who seek to never disappoint the Father that the Holy Spirit declares with power to be the sons and daughters of God.

But as it is never possible for one or ones never to disappoint the Father, so it is those who do something to wipe away the disappointment, that He declares with power to be the sons and daughters the Father is seeking.

That is why it is those who allow themselves to be beheaded for the Gospel and Testimony of His Word who are members of the first resurrection, and those He declares with power… that they might return with Christ.

BUT now it must be His Elect, who are the ones who seek to do something to wipe away the disappointment of the Father, that He will declare with power ….to be the ones to greet Jesus on His arrival…wiping away all the disappointment of the Father of not being able to greet the Eleven on the morning of the resurrection.

For EACH of the Lord’s Elect have the capability of considering what they might do to wipe away that disappointment, just as Jesus did to the Eleven when He met with them and explained everything in all of its detail, that they might understand why He had to die the way He did, for even if someone was to come back from the dead that still did not make them believe …


And so from now on let those words of Jesus be continually proven true…by declaring that from now on all those who die will be brought back….brought back to prove those words of Jesus true, that even if someone arose from the dead they still would not believe !-


AND IT WILL HAPPEN as God has planned ….for now we  think what God thinks, speak what God speaks, and  work as God works – working all things out for the good of He who saved us, called us, chose us, elected us, loved us …beyond reason……

Wiping eternally away all disappointment from the heart of God by working out all things for the good of Those we love …for the good of Those Who love us ….working all things out for the good of the Father, for the good of Jesus, for the good of the Holy Spirit ….and in doing so resurrect all Their dreams bringing them forward into a more majestic, magnificent dimension …so all things are possible …..for God.




Hallowed be the day that Jesus comes in His glory and in the Glory of the Father and of the holy angels  ~

For very soon, every eye will see, and every ear will hear, and every mind will comprehend… why every knee must bow ….as every mouth confesses that Jesus is Lord ~~

For that is how good our Father in heaven is……hallowed be His Name forever  ~~~~~



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