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But I Am a Worm

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What does meretriciousness have to do with our God? What does loud, flashy, garish, gaudy, tawdry, brassy, cheap, gimmicky and tacky have to do with our Lord God Almighty? Why does the church ornament God in such ways like a prostitute soliciting clients in order to make a living, or worse, because they have lusted after another’s property and person. Just as Jerusalem defiled herself with all the Assyrians like her sister Samaria before her, and lusted after the Babylonians and all the Chaldeans to attract their attention in a vulgar manner… yet was not satisfied in her promiscuousness and so recalled the days of her youth to lust after her lovers whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emissions was like that of horses and so longed for the lewdness of her youth, when in Egypt, the land of her slavery, she was man-handled[1]?

For what does deceptively pleasing and attractive doctrines and rituals based on pretentious and specious laws written by men, which have a ring of truth that sound and even look plausible, but are actually fallacious imaginations of men’s minds whose only desires are to listen to self-appointed apostles, church founders, priests and prophets, preachers, pastors, teachers, evangelists, writers of books, singers of psalms and singers of praise and songs of worship that make them feel good, but challenge them little, have to do with our God? For it was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.[2]

But don’t we have our gowns and our symbols, our candles and our candle sticks, our smoking fire-pots and our incense sticks, our altars and our cross; and our impression of Jesus on a cross with an undisfigured body portraying the shedding of a trickle of blood without the emptying out of all of His blood to the final mixture of water and blood, with no bruising or battering and ripping of flesh from the 40 lashes of a cat-o-nine tails, and a form not marred beyond human likeness, with a crown of thorns gently placed on His intact scalp with a few minor scratches to show for it? And don’t we have our can-only-be yeast-free wafers and breads and our has-to-be port wine or our has-to-be grape juice; our baptismal fonts or our baptismal baths and our ideas of who, when, why and how we can be baptised; our stained glass windows and our steeples; our ‘you can only sit here and we sit there’ and our ‘that’s my seat’ attitudes; our choirs and our choir dresses; our organs and our music; our children’s church and our how communion should be taken and who is worthy to be given it and who is not, for did not Jesus also offer His body and blood to Judas? And why is it called communion anyway? And don’t we have our liturgies, our catechisms and our methodologies, and our symbols and our rituals, which should be adhered to, like the lighting of candles, priestly gowns and our flowers and symbolic seasonal colours? And don’t we like our service to be so long and no longer only to fill up even that short time in the sanctuary with un-sanctuaried announcements of our plans and programs to entertain ourselves and build our buildings and increase our estates?

For this is the gilded and perfumed but inwardly rotten nobility that the church has clothed herself with, the cloaking of her powerlessness, which has taken the place of the power-filled life that our One and Only Founder told us that we would live when He said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me, will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father,”[3] that we would shine so brightly that all men would be drawn to Jesus. He was expecting us to continue on with the work that He was doing, for this is only the entry into the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but we refused to believe Him; and if we did, we did not obey Him to practise these words of His that the power Jesus gave His disciples would remain entrusted with us by the Holy Spirit, and so it was removed from us to only appear in compassionate pockets throughout the ages since, in the hope that we would repent and turn away from our ways to once again put on His ways… And so the church dressed herself meretriciously to prostitute herself with the world as she committed adultery with the ways of the world and even incestuously with her own leaders, pastors and teachers, that she may maintain a form of the life that Jesus had bought for her, but had lost as she turned her head to lust after her former lovers…

Was it that we remembered the display of magnificent proportions of the fear-producing sight of the thick cloud, lightning and thunder and smoke billowing as if from a furnace, which announced His Presence when He descended on the Mount in fire to give us the first set of Ten Commandments, and then on the second Mount, the brilliant light of Jesus’ face shining like the sun with His clothes as bright as a flash of lightning when the Father gave us His one and only command of the New Covenant? …That we may imitate in some way the immense impression of such Holy Power that was displayed before us, but that we had no ability or power or holiness of our own, and our efforts were so poorly they had nothing to do with the Original Person and Personage of our Lord God Almighty, and thus we have not been able to reflect His light before all men that they would see Jesus in the light of our persons, for we had turned away from the pure light of the Son…?

For did God the Father tell us to listen to One Person only or did He command us to listen to all who came in Jesus’ Name and follow them? And if He did tell us to listen to the One only, for I only know that He said, This is My Son, whom I love. With Him I am well pleased. Listen to Him!” but I do not know of any other command to listen or to follow anyone else… then did not His only Begotten Son give us few laws only with one ‘ritual’ to do in remembrance of Him,[4] which carried with it no elaborate fanfare, but gave His Holy Spirit, the unseen Spirit of Truth, who is to remind us of everything He taught us to lead us into all truth[5], who is of such humility that He will only whisper in our hearts, but who holds the unfolding of the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of God within Himself to be revealed only to those who will submit themselves to entry only by the Narrow Door, for there is no other way but through the Way?

Then what is this, to be a worm, that Jesus Himself would answer Bildad’s question to Job when Bildad stated, “How then can a man be righteous before God? How can one born of woman be pure? If even the moon is not bright and the stars are not pure in His eyes, how much less man, who is but a maggot— a son of man, who is only a worm!”[6]? For Jesus replied on Job’s behalf because God, His Father, had told Eliphaz that what he and his two friends, Bildad and Zophar had said about Him was not right,[7] But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people. All who see Me mock Me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads: Yet You brought Me out of the womb; You made Me trust in You even at My mother’s breast. From birth I was cast upon You; from My mother’s womb You have been My God.”[8]

And as if to reiterate how important was this rebuttal that Jesus had declared, “But I am a worm,” He pushed the point by another time declaring: “I, Jesus, I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”[9] Once for all, I have sworn by My holiness—and I will not lie to David—that his line will continue forever and his Throne endure before Me like the sun; it will be established forever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky.” Selah.[10] For when He says ‘Selah’ He is saying, “It cannot be valued with the gold of Ophir…”[11] [[12]], so therefore we are to highly value very carefully with much consideration what it is that He just said.

For it is that this humble creature of the dirt, the worm, whose unceasing work is to fertilize the soil of the ground, which is its home, by breaking down all decaying materials to return it back to the dirt in an easily absorbed nutritional form, does aerate the soil as it moves through it so that it breaks up its compacted hardness to loosen it to a silt-like structure for the purpose that it will accept rain. Thus the rain will not run off to be wasted but will drink deeply to provide for the seeds sown and roots planted that they will readily respond with assured healthy growth into their desired harvest.

This was such of the fullness of the commitment of our Jesus that He would lower Himself not only into our sinful flesh when He was born of a woman and partook of our DNA, and in so doing, that He also became of the cycle of our decay… For He is not only the Word who did speak into existence the soil from which all living earthly things were created from, but He also is the Root of the Vine of Origin of which He is the Vine; the Root that is planted in our souls for our souls came from above, that we be grafted back into the Vine by means of He, the Word who died, that it may live again not only through His own resurrection, but also as He reproduced His seed of life, His Life, planted deep into our hearts.

For He is the Worm who came to break up the long since hardened, dried up substance of our hearts that could no longer receive either the Root or the seed that His Father would stoop down and inscribe with His own finger deep into those smashed tablets of stone on which the laws of God had first been written, the tablets of our hearts, now having been faithfully prepared soil by the only One who could, that the seed of the Word and the Root of the Vine could now be embedded deep within to bring forth fruit, fruit that will endure the fire of His jealous anger when that time does come, that He could and would and did bring it all back into the righteousness of God, for when He declared with the authority that He already had from that cross, “It is finished,” it was finished for all time and we are now in the unfolding of that finished work and are but mere partakers of that same work.

Therefore for us to think and say that we are worms is no light matter, for we must not loosely banter this term around because it rings with sounds of humility and goodness, for it does and it is, but it is not our humility or our goodness it resounds with… It is and always will be His, Jesus’, and we must not take away from that or make light of such a magnanimous feat of such total unpretentious subservience… So… be of the understanding of the immense unsurpassingly good measure of its full weightiness, and become of the same extreme immeasurable intense commitment that our Lord and Saviour, our King Jesus, is who is King above all kings, the King of kings… And for those of us who are serious about what has been said, that we would be ‘the cleaners after the end of the procession’, we too can be of no reputation and defy that word of Bildad’s in honour of our Father’s rebuke by becoming men and women who are but maggots, which remove all dead tissue so that only living tissue will remain in our preparation for the return of our King, just as He is the Son of Man who was the Earth worm that prepared the soil… For God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.[13]

So then, how could we have adultery on our mind? For we did hate Him without reason, for we were all of such wickedness that when He gave us everything, not only our existence, but our deliverance, and our salvation, our hope, our dreams, our desires, our future within His eternity, and what a future… we rejected Him. When He came not flaunting His Sovereignty or His Mightiness in all of its full Majestic Glory, or all of His extravagant Beauty whereupon we would not be able to avert our wondrous awe–struck gazes or all of His Ownership that we would readily submit to His Lordship, or all of His Power with all of its Authority that it does hold within itself… we despised Him And our hearts were embittered for no rightful reason, for what we wanted, He did not give… for what we desired was that He would elevate us and glorify us before all men… us, we who were and are not anything that could even bring ourselves into existence let alone sustain our existence if it were not by His grace… a grace given to us by Ones of such Grace that They have never lorded it over us… but have withheld the fullness of the understanding of it for a time soon coming, whilst all the while we have been surrounded by the knowledge of Their grace beyond reason and labelled it “fortuitous chance’. So, it is only that we have every reason to love Him and no reason at all to even love Him without reason, but it is that man would say that our love is unreasonable, without reason, that we are excessive in what we do for our God who inspires us so much that we would lose our heads for our testimony for Jesus and for the W/word of God… And so it will be said of us; but let us not say it or ever think it of ourselves, for our God will be owed by us, all of us, for all of eternity, and for everything we do achieve, He will always turn the page and open the Door to unfold a new beginning for He is the Beginning, He will always be ahead for He is our Head, and we will always follow for He is our Leader who went before us, and though in all of His abundantly opulent generous graciousness, we will surely grow and become of the Impossible, and we will succeed in exceeding excessively to anything known by men for He is our Excessiveness and our Success just as He is our Righteousness, yet we will never usurp Him, for He is our life, He is the Life and without Him we cannot exist, could not exist and can never exist, nor would there ever be a reason for us to exist…

And this mystery of wickedness for God’s people is derived from our refusal to listen to Jesus and to the holy Holy Spirit who reminds us of everything Jesus has said, for Jesus told us seven times in His letters to the churches, “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches,”[14] for He said, “But the Counsellor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My Name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”[15] But we refused to submit ourselves to listen to the still quiet voice of the Holy Spirit for that took practice and endurance and humility… because practice involves failure and failure involves embarrassment and embarrassment wounds our pride, which has many tributaries and that does mean that this something which comes from humility, repentance, needs to be in ongoing patient enduring submissiveness…

For surely we must realise that there is nothing, absolutely and infinitely nothing that we can do apart from God… for without God we do not have a beginning, not even the thought of a beginning, or a seed of a beginning, and neither could we even hope or desire for a beginning because we were not, for apart from God, there is nothing, an absolute infinite NOTHING… BUT WITH GOD, all things are possible… It is possible for us to exist, to live, to hope and to dream… it is possible for us to know and to love and it is possible for us to begin to understand, for to shun evil is understanding[16] and it is possible for us to grow and come to know Him on that path of understanding for knowledge of the Holy One is understanding[17]… it is possible for us to forgive and even to forgive and forget… it is possible for us to love one another, but always and only all things are possible in God, for it is God who makes what is not to be… it is God who dreamt first, who desired and hoped first, who planned first, who prepared first, who created all things first, who loved first and who sacrificed first and it always will be God who dreams, desires, hopes, plans, prepares, creates, loves and even sacrifices last, for He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last… There is no other way… For, for us to hope, dream, desire, plan, prepare, create, love and sacrifice by any other way is witchcraft and wickedness… for then we dishonour Him and set ourselves up against our God and our works are thorns and weeds worthy only of the fire…

Any and every achievement we make and do is by His grace to us always… for it was He who gave us our talents and gifts in the first and in every instance, and without these gifts, we had and have nothing with which to give back to Him… It was our God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who fore-imagined us and prepared us for this time and this place and this purpose, to become of that which He desired us to be, and then He set about planning the course of our life that we would surely come to that place of His dreams… Yet in all things, He gave us freewill and it is this freewill that brings Him much pleasure as well as much pain, for many still do turn away, for we look not to Him; not to His cross, nor to Their individual unique crosses, not to the Father’s, not to the Son’s and not to the Holy Spirit’s; but we look to ourselves and we look to our own crosses of straw, and we are dissatisfied… For like children, we want it all and we want it all now and we refuse to understand that though we have freely been given Family rights by our Lord and Saviour, we need to grow and mature to become of the Family nature and commitment and unity and quality and business… and we need to bring to it the honour which is its due and the glory it does command; and yes, that does take effort and humility and a certain sacrifice and it does take patient endurance and it does take wilful submission… for we were redeemed not into a family of egos and vanity and selfishness, or arrogance and pride, but into a Family of selflessness and humility and gentleness and love, a Family of graciousness, goodness, kindness and generosity, and a Family of pure righteousness and utter holiness… A Family who revealed the glory of the Son to us when Jesus came full of grace and truth, and not in majesty and financial wealth or even power manifesting continuously in an outward manner of awe-inspiring riveting miraculous displays, but contained within with such self-control yet given freely to all who came. For He lived the life of a humble man allowing men and women to look after His needs whilst all the while He required no one to provide for His own needs; a Family that took what They had and by Their own effort, multiplied it and then taught us to be of the same value system and power…

But we looked away for we wanted another form of glory given to and for us and we saw a mirage… a less confronting, pock-holed apparition, which appealed to our sensibilities, and which didn’t demand such a degree of righteousness from us that can only come through humble submission and continuous repentance… For we saw what we preferred to see… a vision that the Godless-world had built for itself of aspiring towers and strongholds of monetary wealth and superficial power and began to trade for it with that which was remaining with us and so set up our rules upon rules to dominate and gain rule…

For the Lord did redeem us from our Egypt and covered us with His garments of salvation and righteousness, He cleansed us with His very own blood shed for us, and He fed us with His very own body smitten for us, for it is by His wounds we are healed and from the life we were given we took the beauty and fame of it and began to prostitute ourselves amongst the nations and did succeed, but now, “you prostitute, hear the word of the Lord! I will stir up your lovers against you… I will turn you over to them for punishment, and they will punish you according to their standards. I will direct My jealous anger against you, and they will deal with you in fury. They will cut off your noses and your ears, and those of you who are left will fall by the sword. They will take away your sons and daughters, and those of you who are left will be consumed by fire.”[18]

“I am about to hand you over to those you hate, to those you turned away from in disgust. They will deal with you in hatred and take away everything you have worked for. They will leave you naked and bare, and the shame of your prostitution will be exposed. Your lewdness and promiscuity have brought this upon you, because you lusted after the nations and defiled yourself with their idols. …Since you have forgotten Me and thrust Me behind your back, you must bear the consequences of your lewdness and prostitution.”[19]

And the angel told John: “The waters you saw, where the prostitute sits, are peoples, multitudes, nations and languages. The beast and the ten horns you saw will hate the prostitute. They will bring her to ruin and leave her naked; they will eat her flesh and burn her with fire. For God has put it into their hearts to accomplish His purpose by agreeing to give the beast their power to rule, until God’s words are fulfilled. The woman you saw is the great city that rules over the kings of the Earth.”[20]

And so it is for us now, just as we were made in the Image of God, let us also take on the very likeness of His very Nature, the Nature of the Worm, that we may truthfully say, “But I am a maggot…” and get on with the task of removing all that is dead in the church that has brought this about that we may truly give to our King a church which is alive and well…




[1] Ezekiel 23:11-21,23

[2] Ephesians 4:11-13

[3] John 14:12

[4] Luke 22:19

[5] John 14:17,26

[6] Job 25:4-6

[7] Job 42:7

[8] Psalm 22:6-7,9-10

[9] Revelation 22:16

[10] Psalm 89:35-37

[11] Job 28:16

[12] Hebrew word for Selah and valued is the same word ‘calah’ meaning ‘measured against’

[13] 2 Corinthians 5:21

[14] Revelation 2-3

[15] John 14:26

[16] Job 28:28

[17] Proverbs 9:10

[18] Ezekiel 23:24-25

[19] Ezekiel 23:28-35

[20] Revelation 17:15-18


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